


A Glimpse of Salvation

by kate7h



Category: Vinland Saga (Manga)
Genre: Bonding, Conversations, Friendship, Gen, Two-year gap filler
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:01:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21874861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kate7h/pseuds/kate7h
Summary: Hild spends some time with Gudrid and is reminded of the sister she lost so long ago. Conversations while combing hair
Relationships: (IMPLIED), Gudrid & Hild (Vinland Saga), Gudrid/Thorfinn (Vinland Saga)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 38





	A Glimpse of Salvation

“Damn…” Gudrid ground out, messing with her hair as it dried after bathing. Hild glanced over tiredly, watching the girl muss her bangs in the reflection of the still water. After a few minutes of this, Hild sighed. 

“I thought you liked your short hair,” Hild said nonchalantly when Gudrid continued to gripe. 

Gudrid looked up, then sighed with exasperation. “Yeah, I mean it’s way easier to handle. But sometimes it just flips out in weird directions and I know I can't see it most of the time, but just knowing it’s there drives me nuts!”

Hild blinked, then looked forward, seeing her own face in the reflection. Her bangs had gotten longer now, falling over her eyes even more than they had those years ago. She was so used to it being tied up in her headband. 

But this had taken more time than she’d wanted. Hild reached for her crossbow, frowning as she thought of the man who was destined to be killed by her creation. 

“Aw, you’re going already?” Gudrid whined. Hold glanced to the woman, wondering how she managed to keep such childlike attitude, having been through everything she had so far. 

“Yes,” Hild murmured, gripping tighter to her bow. “I must keep an eye on Thorfinn.”

Gudrid sighed, reaching up to grasp her wrist. “C’mon, he’s not goin’ anywhere, I promise! You haven’t even combed your hair.”

Hild hesitated. It was true, Thorfinn had yet to go back on his word. The only times he tried to get away from her was when he was trying to protect someone -even including herself. She frowned deeper. 

She glanced at Gudrid, her big brown eyes pleading with her as if she were a child.  _ I suppose Thorfinn wouldn’t leave Gudrid behind either…  _ She remembered how frantically he'd searched for her after they'd gotten separated from each other during the battle of Jomsborg. Figuring if she was close to one of those close to him, he wouldn’t go too far. 

“Can I comb your hair? It’s so much longer than mine. Please?” Gudrid asked, pulling at her arm. 

Hild glanced back to the forest where their mooring laid. With a sigh, she set the crossbow down on her cloak once more. She sat herself down on the grass, her back facing Gudrid. “It’s not that much longer than your own.”

“It  _ is  _ though!” Gudrid exclaimed, happily running her comb through Hild’s hair. “It’s so pretty, ya know?”

Hild flushed, looking down as her hands ran through her hair, smoothing out the tangles. Gudrid hummed lightly, as she was inclined to do when she was in a chipper mood. Hild sighed, resting her hands in her lap, clasping them together. 

The experience was familiar, a long-forgotten memory coming up to her mind. A warm fireplace, a happy voice, kind hands combing her hair. 

_ “You should cut your bangs, big sis!” Hrefna exclaimed, trying her best to comb the hair away from Hild’s eyes- to no avail.  _

_ “I don’t mind, I can see well enough to draw out my plans,” Hild replied, not understanding the younger girl’s struggle.  _

_ Hrefna pursed her lips, holding the bangs up with her hand now, leaning her face in at Hild’s eyes. She wasn’t very surprised or anything. Hrefna was just like this.  _

_ “That’s not what I’m talking about! You have such pretty eyes, and with your hair all in your face, none of the boys can see ‘em!” _

_ Hild shrugged. “That’s fine.” _

_ Hrefna let out an exaggerated sigh, dropping her hair once more, then scooching around her once more, resuming her combing again.  _

_ “Your hair really is getting long, though,” Hrefna continued. “Want me to cut it for you?” _

_ “If you want.” _

_ “But what do  _ you  _ want?” _

_ Hild pondered the question, picking you a lock which had fallen over her shoulder. She turned around, looking up at her sister. Her hair was plaited into two long braids, falling down over her shoulders.  _

_ “How you have your hair is nice,” Hild muttered, and Hrefna beamed.  _

_ “Okay! Braids it is!” _

_ As Hrefna braided her hair happily, Hild smiled, hugging her knees to her chest.  _

The memory was one that hadn’t been long before Askeladd’s band had come to her village. Before her family was slaughtered… before Thorfinn murdered her father in cold blood…

She felt Gudrid tugging lightly on her curls, pulling the comb through probably more than necessary at this point. She clasped her hands tighter against each other, the memory stirring different feelings within her. Hrefna had always been more normal than she had. More outgoing and fashionable. It just wasn’t something Hild ever could grasp, but her sister had never given up on trying to do up her hair in different ways, or get her to play around with her and do different things Hild probably wouldn’t even think of. Hrefna was someone who always looked on the bright side of things. And when someone didn’t, she’d make sure her positive thinking was heard to everyone who would listen. 

Gudrid was sort of like Hrefna in that regard. She was an odd one, but she was earnest and thoughtful, boisterous and opinionated. Just like Hrefna.  _ Like my sister…  _ Despite Hild’s efforts to remain distant from Thorfinn’s crew, Gudrid just wouldn’t have any of that. She went out of her way to talk with her, laugh and joke around, comb her hair, shop with her. It was funny and strange, and Hild couldn’t find it in herself to tell her no.  _ Just like my little sister...  _ It was a wonder the woman even wanted anything to do with her. 

_ After all… I’m planning on executing the man she’s in love with.  _

Hild felt her fingers curl, gripping her hands a little tighter, the frown pulling down the corners of her mouth. 

Gudrid, a shining likeness of someone she dearly cherished, was in love with her mortal enemy… How could that have happened? How could she cherish  _ him _ in such a way? That beast… that murdering bastard… that demon…

She couldn’t understand. 

“You know, maybe if I braided your hair, you wouldn’t need a headband all the time. I could get it to stay out of your eyes, I bet,” Gudrid said. “I can’t do much that looks nice, but I can braid okay.” 

Hild turned her head slightly, eyeing Gudrid from the side. 

“Gudrid,” she started, her voice low and somber. “Why’re you in love with Thorfinn?”

Gudrid started, her hands freezing in her hair. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see her face light up completely red. 

“Wha-?! Ah- what’re you asking about  _ that _ for?!” Gudrid sputtered. 

Hild frowned deeper, looking at the ground. “You’re in love with him, right? Why?”

Gudrid stopped, taking in a few breaths to calm her flusters. “I- I don’t think you’ll be happy with anything I could say to that…”

“Regardless,” Hild replied. “I am… fond of you. However, I can’t fathom why you could have such feelings for  _ him.”  _

She couldn't fathom it. She really couldn't. All this loathing she felt for him… and yet it was so obvious to see that not just Gudrid, but all of them adored the man. How could that be? How was that possible, when they were aware of the person he had been? It made no sense.

Gudrid bit her lip, looking at her with anxiety. She looked down, holding the comb between her hands. “You- you really hate him, huh?”

A scowl came onto Hild’s face. “He murdered my father, helped destroy my village. He took my whole life from me. I will hate him as long as he and I both breathe.”

Hild watched as Gudrid’s face grew… sad. She stared at her with compassion… with pity. But she didn’t understand. Because Thorfinn was  _ “different now,”  _ because he cared for a baby. Because he saved people’s lives, because he didn’t kill anymore…

She couldn’t deny that these things were the truth now. He didn’t do the things he had before. He didn’t speak the way he spoke before. But a snake will always be a snake. Just because he promises not to bite doesn’t mean he’s no longer venomous. 

Gudrid sighed, bringing her knees up to her chest, looking out towards the trees. 

“Well,” Gudrid said softly, the childishness seemingly gone from her voice now. “It’s complicated to put into words, why anyone loves anyone I think. It’s just a lot of things simplified into one word. I’m not so sure it  _ can  _ cover it at all.”

Hild listened, pulling at the grass as Gudrid spoke. 

“He was the first one to help me choose my own freedom. He gave me the option of sailing away from my life when no one else would. And I will always be grateful for that. But… it’s more than just gratitude… there’s something about him that’s hard to explain.”

Gudrid blushed again, smiling happily at the ground. “He’s really strange… a lot different from any man I’ve ever met. He’s remarkably selfless and compassionate, and so full of humility. It’s honestly a breath of fresh air from all these big wind bags always spouting off how tough they are, yada yada…”

“So you love him because he’s nice,” Hild scoffed, scowling deeper as the roots came up with the green grass in her hand. 

Gudrid curled her shoulders up, looking away. “I won’t discount your experiences, Hild. After… seeing Thorfinn meet the man who killed his father… I understand a bit better of what you see in him…”

Hild blinked, not expecting that. 

She sent Hild a somber smile. “In that moment, I was afraid, in a way I would’ve never thought he’d make me feel.”

“You were afraid of Thorfinn?”

“No, not  _ of  _ him…” Gudrid tucked her hair behind her ear. “I was afraid  _ for  _ him.”

Hild raised her eyebrow, waiting for a further explanation. 

Gudrid’s face saddened as she looked down. “Yes, he was angry, but you saw how much pain was in him, right? It was so much uncontrollable rage and hurt that he couldn’t even speak. It got me thinking about what he’s described from that time in his life…”

Hild frowned deeper, ripping the grass so hard from the ground that the roots came up with it. Gudrid didn’t seem to see as she continued to look down. 

“He lived like that for eleven years, ya know? In so much pained and uncontrollable rage… it's hard to even think of, let alone imagine, especially watching him now. I just… He’s trying  _ so hard  _ to be a better person than he was, and he’s taking on the impossible task of making up for all the things he’s done- all alone,” Gudrid said quietly, her eyes shining a bit in the light. “So alone… and I guess I just want to be there for him, however I can. I know I can’t lighten his load, but if I can just give him even a bit of love and support… maybe that can help him figure out how to make such an abstract concept into a reality.”

It was quiet for a moment and Hild looked out to the water as it moved, trickling from the pool in tiny creeks. The dirt they'd stirred up had already settled at the bottom of the clear water where it had been murky before. Hild wanted to be angry, wanted to feel that rage she knew she tended to in regards to Thorfinn… but hearing all this from Gudrid's childish and bright person… she felt still.

“"I mean, he's not even Christian, but he's one of the most repentant people I've ever met, ya know? It takes a lot of strength and courage to change in such a way, to be able to recognize the wrong inside you, and try to fix it. I don’t know if I could do it." Gudrid continued with a sigh. Hild looked back to her, watching her face blush as she smiled a small and slightly sad smile. "Thorfinn has been changing himself all these years, pushing to become better, kinder, and all around good. It must be so hard, but I find it incredibly admirable,"

Hild sighed, picking up her crossbow once more, wiping the water droplets off of the metal.

_ "When you feel like the hatred and anger threaten to crush your soul… remember the teachings of Christ. Forgive your fellow man… for forgiveness is your only salvation."  _ Her father's words came to her mind not for the first time since meeting Thorfinn again. It was one of the last things he'd said to her, and the desire to live by those words was met with the equal desire to watch that beast take his last breath in this world… he deserved it. For destroying her world, and the lives of so many others as well, he deserved to lay down his life before her bow. How dare he be happy in this life after all that destruction? How dare he make this pure and delightful soul fall in love with him? 

_ "Forgiveness is your only salvation…"  _

_ Father, I don't know how it's possible… I'm not as smart as you think I am… _

Gudrid drew her attention back to the conversation at hand as she sputtered. "I- I'm sorry, I just went on and on there, didn't I? That was probably more than you wanted to hear, huh?"

"It's fine," Hild replied, her eyes still down as she continued to clean the mechanism. “Has he… given you an answer yet?”

Gudrid just about squeaked, then looked down, blushing across her frowning face. “No, he… asked me to give him time to think about it…”

Hild tched.  _ Idiot. Moron. Oaf. This pure and radiant woman is in love with you, Thorfinn. Could you be any more scum than you already are, making her anxious and keeping her in suspense like this?  _

“He doesn’t deserve you,” Hild muttered, and Gudrid looked surprised all over again. Hild gathered her cloak and weapon, preparing to head back to the group. “However, if he is what you want, then I hope you find happiness with him.”

Gudrid’s eyes widened, blinking rapidly. Hild just felt awkward now. She glowered, lifting a tight fist. “And if and when he fails to give you that happiness you deserve, I will kill him where he stands.”

As if she’d ignored that last part, Gudrid ran forward and wrapped her arms around her. Hild started, eyes wide as Gudrid embraced her. “As much as I  _ don’t _ want you to kill the man I love, I’m so happy to have your support, Hild.”

Hild glanced from side to side, patting Gudrid’s back awkwardly. “Yes, yes…”

Gudrid pulled away from her with a beaming smile. "I'm glad we're friends, Hild."

Her eyes widened and she blinked in confusion. Again, this woman would have none of Hild distancing herself. She watched as Gudrid picked up her bag and then looped her arm with Hild's. But despite herself, she felt a small smile find its way onto her lips.  _ Friends…  _ She wasn't sure she'd even had a friend before she lost her family. Only her sister.

She glanced at Gudrid's smiling face as they walked together back to the ship.

_ I'm glad too… _ she thought quietly to herself.

**Author's Note:**

> Insteresting writing in Hild's pov, but enjoyable! I hope we get to see more of her development in the upcoming arc! Thanks for reading!


End file.
